更新

by 小葵 on 2016/05/25

 

距上一次更新文章,已快两年。

这期间飘浮的记忆散乱着,要是点开印象笔记,每天都有迹可循。

 

因为一杯竹叶青,认识了户外小哥,那年九月就去了四姑娘山长坪沟穿越毕棚沟,美呆又虐哭。

后来回顾翻越4500米垭口的险峻历程,便觉真是无知者无畏,甚至后怕

也是从那时,生命开始恢复活力,也慢慢开始了跑步、徒步的一系列类似自我救赎般的体验。

 

每一次远足回来后在户外群神侃狂聊,不停认识有趣的新朋友。

好似有用不完的能量,耗空自己后再呼入新的空气

又像喝了黑咖啡预支了体力后的短暂兴奋,心里藏着的那虚妄的冒险运动精神。

而之前给外人那种柔弱和多愁善感的气质,慢慢褪去。

花了一年多时间,整理了11年12年13年累计的毒素和郁结,感谢大自然有那不知不觉的治愈能力。

 

人在一次次选择里往前,而又在一次次回望里错愕。

看看之前,很多情绪都付诸于嘴角边的莞尔一笑。

踩过的坑已无污泥水渍,愈合后清清爽爽。纠葛过的人,在另一个时空,安然无恙。

 

谅解了很多不好的事情,都可以解释为人性使然。

遇见了可爱的人,开始忘记从前可憎的面目。

从前的偏执不驯服,那可能是后青春式的后遗症。

而如今开始逐渐成熟而克制了,也就有准备与青春渐行渐远的意味了。

 

天地有大美,运动中也分泌多巴胺让人上瘾,另一部分的自醒交给了阅读。

近两年阅读了近百本,更知晓了自己的浅薄,适应了那种与自己独处的孤独。

学习方面更加强了感兴趣的证券,外语的学习

后来小时候没实现的梦也去圆了,去画室系统学了画画,

川大的暑期,真是清新美好的一段旅行

研究编程艺术,涉阅营养健康学,园艺,世界史,艺术史…

 

总而言之,世间太多无知啊,还有无言的大美

那后我终于姑且安静下来了。

 

四月,今年发现几乎是我最爱的月份了。

植物在肆意的阳光下抽绿,浓密,我好像被爱的芬芳包围着,心也跟着舒展,不自觉的微微笑。

乖张的性情也许还隐匿在那,但某些心情一切都和从前不同了。

 

荣格说,大多人终其一生,都在修正童年已然形成的性格。

 

远离哄闹浅薄的人群,愈发清幽自在

不遗余力清除一些消耗心智的冗余的内存

也直言不讳和父母交谈,改变他们陈旧的观念

修正一切需要修正的

 

明明都已经二十*了,而时常有一个幻觉,体内封印了一个十七岁少女,

总在某些时候附体,诧然间又像回到了学生时代的课桌前

时而理性时而天真,双面又反复的性格,我体谅了她

所以骨子里,我没变。想到这里,我既为自己的正直开心,又为自己的正直担忧。

 

我知道未来的不总会坦途,现在的我会我告诫自己:永远不要低估人性的恶。

我和啡都达成了共识。接受自然不停的选择,接受生命无常。

这样一来对于未知的那些美好和折磨,我们都可以欣然慷慨的接受消化,

超然地感受生命的每一个节点的喜怒哀乐

 

我也明白了,病菌啊不治之症自杀等这些都是演化中的上帝模式,

人类从刀耕火种到量子物理,到近在眼前的人工智能,一起走了几万年。

人口膨胀下,一切都是生命的附带物,生生息息,不停的毁灭又更迭新生。

不抗争生命的规律和宇宙的哲学,甚至在束手就擒中享受生命每一秒的诗意和阳光。

 

继续往前走,可以回头望,犯错也无可避免,也允许你哭泣焦虑狂躁,

只要还有对未知探索的动力,少年般的好奇心,动静结合。

一切都不会太糟,即使很遭,也请坦然相迎

因为没有什么不会被历史巨轮碾压,粒子无法逃离坍缩,也无法确定薛定谔的猫的生死

再看一眼那浩瀚星空,一切都明了。

 

请勿好逸恶劳,请无所畏惧

在这孤独星球,请成为你自己

谁知道明天是什么呢,上帝他不掷骰子啊

.

 

 

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    认真拜读,好为学徒!

  2. 09/30/2018罗拉 says:

    呵呵。学习了。感触良多!

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    学无止境,认真拜读!

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