十月

by 小葵 on 2012/10/22

 

妹妹那天说,姐,今年是爸爸妈妈婆婆哥哥的本命年,期间都出了些事故,还是有点诡异的。

经历了八月,九月,十月,我更直观的感觉到生命的戏谑。

 

我常记起豆奶君那句话,一直在我心里不散:“我们之间最大的差别在于我对自己诚实”。

截止到昨天,生命又回归到一个整数了。要慢慢对自己,对世界都更诚实,更勇敢。

十一岁开始的流浪,二十一岁开始的戏剧化。

 

七月我同样拒绝了一个纯情的男人,出差后又从台州动车来杭州看我。

夏日酷暑,在楼梯口等了我一上午,手上提着奶茶,早餐。

送我一串东海海边的贝壳,同样的手链,逛西湖,请他在同样的地方吃饭。

 

十月出现那个前年陪我过生日的人,曾经觉得优秀的有风度的男人。

今年我生日头一天居然从早上从南方飞到杭州,只为见一面,云淡风轻,礼貌而含蓄,像老朋友一样聊着天。

戏剧化的在楼下石凳上,等一下午,手上提着奶茶,送我一串波斯湾捡的贝壳,同样的手链,逛西湖,请他在同样地方吃饭。

 

哪知我八月,以为是一个开始,现实却抵不过五天,在离开的一个月后,嘎然而止。

去年5月到9月,今年6月到9月。同样的伤害已是第二次。

也许依旧是隐藏心事,也许从来没在乎过。

我第二次哭的像个小孩子。

 

从去年11月到今年7月的的寄托转移时期,多么美好的期待和理想主义。

我记得那天特意去为我拍的海边的照片,某本的sunset好美,幻想在那里的沙滩余晖下漫步。

后来给俺寄的东东,我开森到不行呐。

也许你Stay in love,也许你真的是个骗纸。感谢你附加的治愈,比如每天要听某首歌两遍以上。

 

在九月最低谷,遇见了他。忽然觉得身边大部分都是浮云,无论其他人做再多的事,我也无法感动。

倦鸟要归林,你是一颗不与命运争夺的树,很安全。

“美丽会凋零,泥土变森林,摊开你的手,让我死在你怀里。”

越来越深陷。

 

又记起,零6年,在ZX。9年,在ZX。12年,在ZX。

是想怎样啊?

 

10月,爽逃离了重庆去了江苏,互相扯皮的三四年。

10月,我经历了2次调动,最后回到老地方,心境更练达。

10月,前几月在联系的人,很多人失去了音讯。

 

身边很多朋友大多有了归属,为他们她们感到开心。

 

无论境遇如何糟糕,我先逃避之,等我说服了自己后,再来平复。

 我有一个潘多拉盒子,装满了各种痛苦,悲伤,压力,难过,愤慨等负面情绪,偶尔露出。
 但是我也有更多的期待和希望,拿出韧劲与生活的拉锯战。
 小葵再也不要做爱哭的小宝贝。要积极,要阳光~
 无论怎样,希望家人和我一起面对, 总会好起来的。

不是吗?

 

 

 

..

 

.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

There are 126 comments in this article:

  1. 10/24/2012万俟尘 says:

    既然觉如玩笑般戏谑,那便微笑面对^ ^

  2. 10/31/2012hostgator says:

    感觉你的生活好浪漫的,还有人送贝壳

  3. 11/1/2012石东 says:

    11年我也经历了人生最黑暗的一年
    曾经多次觉得死掉就好了
    然后慢慢也就想开了
    开心也是一天
    不开心也是一天
    起码微笑面对它
    然后努力做到最好
    这样回头看的时候才不会遗憾

  4. 11/9/2013邹勇 says:

    在九月最低谷,遇见了他。忽然觉得身边大部分都是浮云,无论其他人做再多的事,我也无法感动。倦鸟要归林,你是一颗不与命运争夺的树,很安全。“美丽会凋零,泥土变森林,摊开你的手,让我死在你怀里。”越来越深陷。 你是很优秀的,面对自己的本心,做出选择吧,勇敢一点!你所拥有的不应该是现在这样的生活

  5. 11/9/2013邹勇 says:

    在九月最低谷,遇见了他。忽然觉得身边大部分都是浮云,无论其他人做再多的事,我也无法感动。

    倦鸟要归林,你是一颗不与命运争夺的树,很安全。

    “美丽会凋零,泥土变森林,摊开你的手,让我死在你怀里。”

    越来越深陷。

    你是很优秀的,面对自己的本心,做出选择吧,勇敢一点!
    你所拥有的不应该是现在这样的生活

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