遇见杨帆

by 小葵 on 2012/10/1

 

和杨帆的认识确是是缘。

 

N年前,我提着一大一小两个箱子,带着对未知的恐惧。

在某市的火车站外坐了两个多小时,微凉的天气。

张叔来送我离开,在候车厅。张叔是前男友的爸爸。

 

过了一会儿一群很活力的大学生出现在候车厅,我静坐在那,不知怎么杨帆就过来搭讪了。

 

第一次见到杨帆,一束阳光的感觉。帅帅的,让我有距离感。一口成都话,一脸微笑,又亲切了些。

 

我是比较矜持的,他一直问我问题,才知道他们是师院的美术学生,到黄土高原写生去。

发现是同一班列车,他们是站票,说到时候一个车厢,好有个照应,我说好。

他很热心,觉得我一个小女生提不了那么重的箱子,说待会儿帮我提,一起进站。

这时候张叔过来了,看我和其他男生讲话,有点不悦。

 

进站拥挤的人群,他帮了一些忙。车厢里,他们站我这节车厢后面,还有些女同学。

他很礼貌的过来说,能不能让一个女同学过来和我挤着坐。他们男生站着没关系。

 

我说当然可以。后来他一直在后面,我和他开始发短信,我也劝过他过来坐,他没有。

我记得我们一直短信聊天聊了很久,后来换了号码也继续联系,也加了QQ。

 

只是把他当做哥哥,一个很好的好人。

这样一直没断过联系,就是四年过去了。

 

期间,节日都会互发祝福短信,在空间也常关注着他的更新。

我失恋那会儿,他也失恋,我们互相鼓励。甚至还给她介绍女孩。

大学里无聊,经常让他来在线QQ麻将,YY唱歌,他都不会拒绝。把他拉进了我的好友群,一起闲侃。

 

他实习,在一所充满我童年记忆的小学。我毕业,和以前的朋友更是疏于联系。

但是一直断断续续知道他的消息,他从某市毕业回成都,消失状态。我在外企工作快一年,几乎不登陆之前的QQ,也消失状态。

我经历了失恋,继续深造的失败,实习的迷茫,进入外企的压力,疯玩。

 

唯独没想到过,我和杨帆的故事原来不止于此。

8月,经历了多少事呢,没人知道,也不愿意说。我只知道我自己哭了好多好多次,快要得抑郁。

家人遭受疾病,感情很飘渺,工作的压抑。

 

9月注定是个分别和相聚的年月。我忽然想通了,想要回家。

原本曾经远离的朋友和生活,想要找回来。这两周完全开朗起来了,不在左胸口隐隐作痛。

 

那天发现我的卡有一大叠,全是和杭州绑定的各种商场,药房,电影院,公交,银行等卡。

和杭州绑定很深了,融入了这边的生活,看到房间里各种东西,回家大多要丢掉,很多也许会来不及用。

 

我很少登陆那个主号Q了,看到7月22号杨帆给我留了言,说:好久不见你,最近可好。我9月23号才回复。

我心理一直是惦记着要给他回复的。在一切都快平息下来的时候。

幸好我7月没回复,不然也许就不会故事的开端。

因为9月是想要抉择的时候,我看不到方向,他闯进了我的生活,让我看清方向。

 

阴霾了太久,忽然一束阳光照过来。

就像一列火车,开进了山洞,漆黑一片,忽然出洞,一片光明。

 

当我回过头,回顾我和杨帆的相遇。我想到了张爱玲的那句:

“于千万人之中遇见你所要遇见的人,于千万年之中,时间的无涯的荒野里,没有早一步,也没有晚一步,刚巧赶上了……”

 

那天晚上他回复我了,他说:还没男朋友,听到这样的消息都激动。

他开始了很直白的自我推销。工作稳定,车房差不多就绪。

 

我们有共同的愿景,性格合适,都在成都,都经历了该经历的,都成熟了。

合适的时间合适的人,一个理想主义遇见另一个理想主义,然后就是火花。

 

剧情逆转得很快。我的负面情绪被他释放的正力量感化。

凭什么,在我身边潜伏四年,才出现。为啥呀,一两句话就把我说服。

我迟疑。

 

后来发现他是ENFJ,重情,开朗,温暖,是INFP的人生导师。

而INFP的最佳伴侣就是ENFJ,两个人是最兼理想,浪漫,理解,可靠,最有爱的搭配。

有一点动心。

 

虽然我总是悲观主义。也许再也不像以前那样天真,和勇气。

人在面临幸福时会突然变得胆怯,抓住幸福比忍受痛苦更需要痛苦。

 

上天总是先要给你几个闷棍,然后再给你颗糖吃。

希望这颗糖是甜蜜的,实实在在的。

 

我没想过,我忽然要面临几年后结婚。没有多少心理准备。

我没想过,那个在候车厅见到的杨帆,竟是我多年后的另一半。

 

成长必然付出代价。

以前想要的,现在不想要了。

以前没想过要的,现在竟然是你的了。

 

已经不再迷恋外面的花花世界。只想如果可以,我希望回到家人身边过平静的生活。

 

这就是我想要的生活,希望能实现。

 

2012年10月01日。

挥别过去,重新开始。

 

 

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There are 36 comments in this article:

  1. 10/1/2012万俟尘 says:

    哈,跨度时间很长的温暖的故事~

  2. 10/9/2012芒果树 says:

    时常不经意打开收藏夹,看到失落的葵花,以前你的网站是这个名字,打开来看,很容易被你带动,跟随你一起经历了许多事情。祝福你们。

  3. 10/20/2012石东 says:

    突然点开
    看到感觉充满了足足的正能量
    温暖而美好
    加油~

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