听说爱情回来过

by 小葵 on 2012/07/7

 

2012年7月7日。

认识你的3000天。恋爱过900天。分手后的660天。

最近都流行爆婚讯,我也来模仿一把。

 

微信

16:48  明年8月我结婚,到时候来参加吗?

16:49  真的假的?

 

电话响起。ex打过来的。

16:51  未接。

17:00  未接。

 

短信

17:03 丫头,还在用这个号没?

 

微信

17:06   说话呀!

17:15   一个哭泣的兔斯基表情

 

QQ闪动,ex发的消息。

这个时候才发现他昵称是Bazinga。

17:07  在不?

17:30  在

17:31   刚才你说的不是真的吧

17:49   我反正说了,不管你信不信。别声张。

18:03   是谁呢? 唉

 

这个时候他的QQ签名改成了:

18:03 “突然的彷徨,压抑的情绪让我感到很无力。是后悔?是低落?是心痛。我的脑子很乱,我该怎么办?”

 

 

继续QQ

18:04   没有必要告诉你

18:12   对不起,是我没有把握住你。失去你是我这辈子最大的错误。

18:14   这会脑子有点乱。你把你新号码发我下嘛。

18:18   没有必要哈,前男友什么的,还是要划清楚距离。

18:46   希望你能够幸福。我不能给你的,就由别人给吧,至少我还是相信你的眼光。平时少点犟。

 

18:51

我会把我电脑上你留下的痕迹再最后看一遍然后删掉。

希望我们还能是朋友,因为你能带给我很多新的东西。当然这是我的一厢情愿,具体看你。

经过一个小时的迷茫,我开始正视这件事情。

是我没把握住你,是我伤害了你。

 

19:03

当然,我也说说我的感受吧。毕业到现在,我对自己的工作状况不满,也觉得自己没有能力请求你回来,给不了你我想给的。

所以一直以来都没有跟你重新这段感情。让我现在说,心里有没有你?肯定是有的。

你是唯一的一个让我爱得那么深的人。你在我心里会呆一辈子,也许你才是我的初恋。

因为是你让我很多时候为别人考虑超过自己。

你是个好女人,你的好不是说你脾气好啊,性格好啊,工作能力好啊,而是你的思想。

不过送你一句话,我最近琢磨了很久:学而不思则惘,思而不学则怠。

 

19:15

有的时候反思,自己也不知道这一年干了什么,只知道失去的比得到的多。

最近我也在改变自己,感觉没有一个女人在身边勉励自己,少了一种积极的人生态度。

这样不行。也许你不能想象,现在我每天早上六点半起床。

我要积极起来,我要更坚强。

 

 

….

 

后记:

没有什么目的,深水里丢个小鱼雷试试。

我很庆幸认识你。高年级的学长。900天的相爱。60天失恋的痛苦。

 

和那后的独立去面对生活的种种。

成熟或许是件缓慢的事儿,但一段不成熟的感情的经历和失去绝对是极好的催熟剂。

离开你的时候,我哭了一个通宵,哭着给你写了一个通宵的邮件。

我说离开你,我要变得更好。内心强大,独立,更积极面对生活。

一年半了,我在这儿告诉你。我做到了。你也许没做到,所以我知道你也没脸联系我。

 

我还记得那个深夜凌晨三点,你又是喝个烂醉。你清醒的时候不会联系我,醉了才会有勇气打我电话。

你问我过的好吗?我说:很好!一阵沉默。你再问我会回去吗?我说:不会!一阵沉默。

然后挂断了电话。我的冷漠是对过去的终结,对大家的负责。

 

所以,还是希望你更积极些。会有姑娘替我继续爱你。

而更多的,是男人需要有些梦想,并亲手一一实现。

无论怎样,

谢谢你,爱过我。

 

..

 

.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

There are 28 comments in this article:

  1. 07/8/2012匿名 says:

    喜欢最后一段

  2. 07/8/2012wwek says:

    姑娘啊~好像是忘记了。恭喜你成长了·

  3. 07/8/2012万俟尘 says:

    沉闷的一声 BOOM !

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