真的不敢看

by 小葵 on 2012/03/18

 

忽然有点扛不住,各种蝴蝶效应作怪。

雪中温泉行,无意拍了W,二月的事情了,三月的今晚他发了短信讨照片,于是插卡,读取。

 

点开了一月的照片。

于是被激发。

 

看到爸爸,他喜欢穿灰色的休闲西装。回头望,发现真的好多好多年过去了。这时候耳机里《忽然之间》。

“我明白太放不开你的爱,太熟悉你的关怀”

照片里面欠了7年的笑,我却在屏幕前眼睛湿润。

情绪没对。

 

陈升《不再让你孤单》。

“ 我最喜欢看你胡乱说话的模样,逗我笑。”

但是,但是但是,为什么?

 

真的不敢看,过年的合影,我猛拍了几百张,想留住什么,但是什么都没办法改变。

我是否太没用,太不懂事,还是愧怍。

 

看了下手机的通话记录,今晚21点04分,电话响起了,看到来电是爸爸。

我知道他肯定没什么事,只是想听听我的声音,只是想我了。

 

爱是隐秘的,也是有生物钟的,一旦我有一段时间没给他们电话,他就会打过来。

我说我在吃饭,嚼着食物的声音,他在电话那头笑得好开心。

尽管我有点敷衍,因为炒年糕第一次多给了酱油,很咸,第二次多给了油,很腻,搞得我心情很糟。

 

林忆莲《至少还有你》

“直到感觉你的发线有了白雪的痕迹。”

 

我记得,我都记得爸爸。

你每天早上把饭端到我手上,我要买什么你都随声附和,你经常认真的看着我,看着女儿长大了。

 

情绪有点失控。

身不由己。

时间太快。

 

这几个月我都干了些什么,我不知道。

想做点什么。

但是好像什么都做不了。

对不起。

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