夜雨

by 小葵 on 2012/03/7

最近的深夜,总能听见夜雨。

 

这时恰好能潜入自己编织的另一个世界里。三观有种很虚无的感觉。想起前两天和wwek童鞋煲电话粥到凌晨2点,P话超过文化,文化超过现代化。互相反省。我提出:“活在当下”“Enjoy your life”等中英文论点。他音调加了一个key的说:“虽然我懒,但是我绝对是一个崇尚自由,热爱自由,热爱生活的人。” Yep,散漫而理想化。他赞美我说我总能看到别人看不到的东西,羞,夸人不带这样的。

 

时间拉回2008年,我在秋秋空间写了一篇日记,主旨大概是:如果,我有时候很沉默或是很扯,那说明我真的很心痛。现在看来,有时候还是适用的。天空有雨天,我有blue时。不过还好,都能调整过来,活过来。感性带来的痛苦没那时灰暗了,我知道这个理儿:大部分时候,人都是庸人自扰,画地为牢。所以,我心态已经很平和了,与世无争。更喜欢简洁,空白,寂静,一个人玩。

 

虽然偶尔松松垮垮,但其实是大智若愚好吧。那么现在我们的目标是,内心安宁,毫无畏惧。所以我写字,画画,看书,做饭,去教堂。

 

这雨下的好绵长,整个江南全部湿了。

 

哦,那次去河坊街没有找到红豆手链。是在预示着神马么。说到买东西,想起了我的欲望清单,写在我的电脑里,笔记本里,A4纸上,欲望和现实总是在拉锯赛,实力不够,衍生出小阵痛。其实我是个很容易满足的人,偶尔偏执,偶尔阿呆。只要有wish lists,就要活下去。不是吗。

 

2月份,29天,我的台历上,14天标注我都去了趴,去嗨。应该有很多要写的,但是都忘了。重要的东西都是无形的,所以那些活动都是一些生活小点缀。倘若连小点缀都没有了,那就真的没有青春过了。

 

有时候大脑休闲下来的时候,会做个算术,用当下的2012年减去自己出生年龄,会有一瞬的穿越感,啊,都这么大了,不会吧。

 

猪和岁月的故事中,岁月的作案工具是杀猪刀,猪各种挨宰不解释。泪一个。

 

小葵。

 

听,夜雨声,滴答滴。

 

小葵。

 

快要放晴了,等等吧。

 

小葵。

 

Love u~

 

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