用生命刷微博

by 小葵 on 2012/02/18

你记住:

凡是你抗拒的,都会持续。

因为当你抗拒某件事或是某种情绪的时候

你会聚焦在那种情绪或事件上

这样就赋予了它更多的能量,它就更强大了

——张德芬《遇见未知的自己》

 

 

先说刷微博这个事儿。微博是一个小小厨房窗口,把卖相好看的菜端出来。

谁知洞口里锅碗瓢盆,兵荒马乱。呃,算是点题。

 

昨晚,我问刘小麻,还要听什么歌,赶紧点,我唱。电话那头,他说,李宗盛的。

我说,靠,我只会唱一句。而后我嚎:啊!我终于失去了你~

从来讨厌熟络的友情,从不主动经营。后知后觉的,朋友不能再多,也不能再少,就那么几个。

 

 

好像每次码字的时候,手边都有一壶水,或是龙井,或是杭白菊。或是柠檬,或是咖啡。

为了避免自己陷入小清新的模式,我不敢过多的用句号,用岁月,仰望等字眼。

 

 

有时候觉得生活好清新啊,有时候觉得生活好你妹啊。最近甚至到达了好苦逼的境地。

内心必须分化出另一个自己,她也叫小葵。陪自己对话,清醒。

生活每一次推倒我时,外部消极抵抗时,她冲出来,说,怕毛啊,杀!

 

 

前段时间,我一直揪住一个词,可能是在某一刻被这个词启发了,

但是level不够,只能反复念它:自知之明!

如果我有自知之明,我应该一句话也不要讲,不至于扭曲。配合着时间大神,合理利用900月。

 

 

记起和某豆奶君聊天,我说什么,然后他总说:无所谓了,反正被刷了上限。。。

后来在某公司围观的那些上限和更上限。大部分是物质上的吧,然后呢?没有了。

我知道差距。通过某些人。

后来我想,比起那些真正死去的公主们,我已经很好了喂。时空不同,不能比。

 

 

云天明送了程心一颗星星。今年情人节,居然是连续四年的一个断裂,没有收到玫瑰和巧克力。

不悲伤,不记得,不知道。

我对不起的是,经常不接刘小麻的电话。每次接大师兄的电话,心不在焉。

和Colin通话,讲话言不由衷。和爽无法像从前那样,长篇闲聊,研究折腾。

 

 

对于虾虾,没见她,没和她多聊聊。

对于大汉,这个死男人,越来越喜欢恶搞。

对于青儿,她要当新娘了,我好开心。

还有,我和小白都说,我们的世界能不能不要有潘龙和杨承飞了。

 

 

我最对不起的是,妈妈,想起那次的分别,送我的那个车站,我坐的车都开得好远了,她的身影。

爸爸,太多,以至于不想说。

对不起,她就这样了,原谅女儿吧。她总是那么混蛋。

我记得她的和她的眼泪。

 

 

后来办公室一群人的寂寞,那些喝到眩晕的红色白色透明的酒。

后来发现身边还是有些人,会打的送你到门口,说你到家了发个短信。

那天发了个私密微博,说:为什么要成为焦点呢? 你真的没那么美丽和重要,呵呵。

我还故意加了个呵呵,是有多讥讽自己。

 

 

世事的残忍,是良药,让我静静成长。

好像真的习惯意识流了,你看得见水在流动,但是你真的知道水在表达什么么。

表现的隐晦,就是冷漠吗。

 

 

曾经以考好大学,找好工作为名,升学,考试。现在工作了,那么该怎样呢?

阅读,写作,看电影,旅行,学习吧。

 

 

还有啊,今年的冬天过的不爽,怎么没多少太阳。

下一个冬天,会怎样,期待下?

 

 

想表达的,总是显得无力,或者是我根本不想讲。

不是淡定,是默默承受。

 

 

最好的时光,我都用来干什么了?

用生命刷微博,嗯,首尾呼应。

 

 

你不懂得我,我不懂得我。

就这样吧

还能怎样呢

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

There are 121 comments in this article:

  1. 02/20/2012Firm says:

    哎,微博这东西真的会上瘾,现在一天不上微博,就心痒痒的

  2. 03/2/2012wwek says:

    人就是要求的太多·

  3. 12/12/2018Sannygop says:

    Nice posts! 🙂
    ___
    Sanny

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