一定要找到

by 小葵 on 2011/12/11

经常思维是没有条理的,脑子里突然蹦出个什么东西,一定要找到,一定要得到,不停的找,无法等待。比如刚才,翻遍衣柜床头整理箱,还是找不到,但我告诉自己一定要找到,不然心神不宁,终于找到了袖套,满足的戴上。

 

有点强迫症的趋势,比如厨房做饭,看到厨房不整洁,一定要把各个死角打理的干干净净才心情舒畅的做饭,期间去洗手间发现台面或地板脏了,就会立马放下做饭,先整干净了才安心。

 

还有拖延,有点完美主义的后果是,需要自己最好的状态去做一件事,如果没准备好,就不做,一直堆积,一直放在那里。房间乱了就一直心乱,想着一定找个空闲时间去做,但是我空闲了就会呆在电脑边。

 

有点怀恋前几个月某个时期,我对网络没有任何期待,不和任何人聊天,不受任何牵绊,只想看点手机电子书,合上电脑,晚睡早起。但是始终还是对手机依赖。看来我任何时刻都需要都要抓住一个东西不放。

 

现在的状况是,房间和心情各种没整理,周六已经过了,TO DO list没执行,没买,没做。自己的记录,不管是纸质的还是手机上的,笔记都没条理。外汇和基金没看。

 

总之,什么都没整理。

 

反而因为找袖套,搞得更乱。有时候想起地板有几根头发,我心里就咯得慌,我怎么了。天气冷了,我应该勇敢,对的,刚刚去看月全食的时候,我就这样想的。听到小区里几个小孩子的在外嬉闹的声音。

 

我们没有小孩子勇敢,她们好快乐,冷得通红的小脸蛋却依旧在小区里跑,我连下楼倒垃圾的勇气都木有。

 

以及偏执,想起之前刷信用卡,买自己想要的,全然不顾任何。想起那时候喜欢吃某店的牛腩面,我连续几天,中午下午都跑去吃。奶茶,咖啡,某时候很依赖。对于吃,以前是没有概念的,觉得饭店餐厅的都不健康,不管好吃与否,后来发现我忘了这一点。

 

越是想要的时候,就发现自己散漫。看书,想上网。写字,想睡觉。睡觉也成为我逃避生活的必备法宝。我应该努力,珍惜。既然我知道我想要的生活,为什么还是没去积极进取。

 

一定要用陶瓷杯,泡曼特宁,杯子暖手,点开虾米电台,和爽聊天,我让他安静点,去写日记。其实我心都没有安下来,和网友有一搭没一搭的聊,一聊三四年。

 

对于工作和生活上的病一样。一直拖,不知道自己当下在干嘛。记忆力也没有从前。各种没概念。其实我知道应该怎样,但却始终没去怎样。时间都在我的各种情绪和放空中度过。

 

当我发现我成熟的时候,就是我失去更多的时候。马的又记起这句话了。很是讨厌自己处于成熟和非成熟的阵痛期。我好像还没失去了纯真,热情,勇气,但又好像失去了点什么。

 

唔,突然听到天空之城的插曲,内心被治愈了很多。

 

深夜的红酒,和久石让。

 

再给我点时间,让我整理下。

 

 

 

There are 31 comments in this article:

  1. 12/12/2018Sannygop says:

    Nice posts! 🙂
    ___
    Sanny

  2. 12/16/2018Sannygop says:

    Look my site is good
    ___
    http://davesdevotional.org

  3. 12/28/2018Sannygop says:

    Look my site is good
    ___
    http://afcmarseille.com

  4. 12/28/2018Andygop says:

    http://afcmarseille.com

  5. 01/1/2019converse outlet says:

    I would like to show my love for your kindness for visitors who absolutely need help with this particular concept. Your special dedication to getting the message across ended up being definitely interesting and has continually empowered somebody just like me to realize their aims. Your personal useful key points entails so much a person like me and a whole lot more to my peers. Thank you; from everyone of us.

  6. 01/2/2019adidas stan smith uk says:

    I intended to post you this very little remark to thank you very much over again for your wonderful principles you have discussed here. It has been certainly tremendously open-handed of you to allow unreservedly what exactly a number of us could have sold for an ebook to help make some dough for their own end, most importantly since you might well have tried it if you decided. These smart ideas also served like a fantastic way to fully grasp that other individuals have similar eagerness the same as my very own to know the truth more with regard to this condition. I’m sure there are many more enjoyable opportunities ahead for individuals that view your site.

  7. 01/3/2019yeezy boost says:

    I wanted to create you a little bit of remark to help thank you so much again for those precious strategies you have documented above. It was quite extremely open-handed with people like you to provide openly exactly what numerous people would’ve supplied as an electronic book to generate some bucks on their own, especially seeing that you might well have done it in the event you desired. These points in addition served as the easy way to know that the rest have the identical dream just as mine to grasp more with reference to this problem. I’m sure there are some more pleasant occasions in the future for individuals that read through your blog post.

  8. 01/3/2019off white says:

    I wanted to create you the very small remark so as to say thanks a lot yet again with the unique information you’ve contributed in this article. It was particularly open-handed of people like you to supply unreservedly what exactly many individuals would have sold for an e-book to earn some bucks on their own, particularly given that you might have tried it in case you considered necessary. These tips additionally acted to become good way to fully grasp other people have a similar desire like my personal own to know a lot more pertaining to this matter. I think there are several more pleasurable periods up front for folks who find out your blog.

  9. 01/4/2019golden goose says:

    Thanks a lot for giving everyone an extraordinarily memorable possiblity to read in detail from this web site. It’s always so sweet and as well , stuffed with fun for me personally and my office co-workers to search your blog more than thrice every week to see the fresh items you will have. And of course, I’m so usually happy with the mind-boggling pointers served by you. Some 1 points in this post are clearly the most suitable I have had.

  10. 01/5/2019nike huarache says:

    I wanted to send a small word in order to thank you for all the great tactics you are sharing at this site. My time intensive internet investigation has now been rewarded with awesome concept to share with my friends. I would repeat that we site visitors are very blessed to be in a perfect network with very many awesome individuals with very beneficial hints. I feel pretty fortunate to have come across your web pages and look forward to really more awesome moments reading here. Thanks a lot again for a lot of things.

  11. 01/7/2019yeezy boost 350 says:

    I happen to be writing to let you know of the terrific discovery our princess had using your web page. She mastered a lot of pieces, with the inclusion of what it’s like to have an amazing teaching mood to let men and women easily gain knowledge of specific hard to do topics. You undoubtedly did more than my expected results. Thank you for imparting those great, trusted, informative as well as easy tips on this topic to Janet.

  12. 01/8/2019adidas iniki says:

    I have to show my respect for your kindness supporting individuals that require help on in this topic. Your special dedication to passing the solution all around turned out to be definitely helpful and has surely empowered guys and women just like me to attain their goals. Your personal informative help implies a great deal to me and a whole lot more to my office workers. Many thanks; from everyone of us.

  13. 01/8/2019nmd says:

    I would like to convey my respect for your kind-heartedness for women who absolutely need assistance with this particular area of interest. Your real commitment to getting the message around ended up being pretty beneficial and has in every case allowed girls just like me to attain their pursuits. Your personal helpful recommendations indicates much a person like me and even further to my office workers. Thank you; from each one of us.

  14. 01/9/2019yeezy boost 350 v2 says:

    I really wanted to write down a brief note to be able to thank you for all the marvelous tactics you are sharing on this website. My extended internet look up has at the end been honored with reasonable facts and strategies to exchange with my companions. I ‘d express that we readers actually are really lucky to be in a fabulous website with very many lovely professionals with very helpful suggestions. I feel extremely fortunate to have seen your entire webpages and look forward to so many more cool moments reading here. Thank you once again for everything.

  15. 01/9/2019michael kors handbags says:

    I intended to draft you a little note to finally thank you so much the moment again relating to the stunning tactics you have shared in this case. It is really wonderfully generous of people like you to grant without restraint what many of us would have supplied as an e book to help with making some profit on their own, especially seeing that you might have done it if you ever wanted. These points as well served like a great way to know that someone else have the identical passion just like my personal own to realize more in terms of this issue. I am sure there are thousands of more enjoyable moments ahead for folks who view your blog.

  16. 01/10/2019hermes belt says:

    My husband and i got really joyful that Jordan could conclude his survey via the ideas he had from your own blog. It is now and again perplexing to just be giving away concepts that some people may have been making money from. And we all discover we now have the website owner to give thanks to because of that. The explanations you made, the easy web site menu, the friendships you can assist to promote – it’s got everything terrific, and it’s aiding our son in addition to the family believe that the situation is thrilling, which is extraordinarily pressing. Thanks for the whole lot!

  17. 01/11/2019yeezy boost says:

    I just wanted to jot down a brief note in order to say thanks to you for those splendid tips you are giving out here. My time consuming internet look up has at the end of the day been paid with really good suggestions to talk about with my visitors. I would repeat that we website visitors are unequivocally endowed to live in a wonderful community with very many brilliant people with good pointers. I feel very grateful to have used the webpages and look forward to tons of more enjoyable times reading here. Thanks a lot once again for a lot of things.

  18. 01/12/2019birkin bag says:

    I together with my guys were found to be checking out the good tips on your site and then immediately I had a terrible suspicion I never thanked the site owner for those strategies. All the women had been totally warmed to read through them and have simply been taking advantage of these things. Many thanks for truly being simply considerate and for settling on this form of superior issues millions of individuals are really desirous to discover. My very own honest regret for not expressing gratitude to you earlier.

  19. 01/13/2019nike air max 2018 says:

    I simply wanted to develop a small message to express gratitude to you for all of the unique pointers you are giving on this site. My extended internet look up has finally been recognized with incredibly good content to write about with my friends. I ‘d declare that we site visitors are definitely endowed to live in a good community with so many special professionals with helpful methods. I feel very happy to have used your web pages and look forward to some more fabulous times reading here. Thank you once again for all the details.

  20. 01/13/2019yeezy shoes says:

    Thanks a lot for giving everyone such a spectacular chance to read from this site. It’s usually very awesome and as well , jam-packed with a great time for me personally and my office co-workers to visit your blog at least 3 times in 7 days to read through the latest tips you will have. Not to mention, I’m also usually fulfilled for the impressive information you give. Some 1 facts in this post are absolutely the best we have ever had.

  21. 01/14/2019adidas tubular shadow says:

    I wanted to make a word to thank you for those awesome tactics you are posting here. My rather long internet investigation has finally been recognized with reasonable content to write about with my good friends. I ‘d assume that we website visitors actually are unquestionably blessed to exist in a good place with very many lovely people with great ideas. I feel quite lucky to have come across your web site and look forward to so many more awesome moments reading here. Thanks a lot once more for a lot of things.

  22. 01/14/2019russell westbrook shoes says:

    I would like to express my admiration for your kind-heartedness in support of women who must have help with the area. Your special dedication to passing the message all over was quite interesting and have always empowered guys much like me to arrive at their aims. Your own helpful hints and tips implies a great deal a person like me and even further to my colleagues. Thanks a lot; from all of us.

  23. 01/14/2019Women May Sneakers says:

    I together with my guys happened to be studying the best strategies on your web blog then instantly I had a horrible suspicion I had not thanked the web site owner for them. All the women were definitely so joyful to read all of them and now have actually been taking advantage of those things. Thanks for truly being simply considerate as well as for making a choice on some beneficial issues most people are really wanting to understand about. My very own honest apologies for not saying thanks to you earlier.

  24. 01/15/2019jordan retro 12 says:

    I am glad for commenting to let you be aware of of the extraordinary experience my daughter developed checking yuor web blog. She came to understand a lot of details, not to mention what it’s like to have a very effective giving nature to get other individuals quite simply comprehend certain tortuous matters. You really surpassed people’s desires. Thank you for providing these helpful, dependable, edifying and even unique thoughts on the topic to Gloria.

  25. 01/15/2019yeezy shoes says:

    I want to express my admiration for your kind-heartedness in support of men who have the need for help on this one concern. Your personal commitment to passing the message along appears to be incredibly beneficial and have consistently enabled folks much like me to achieve their desired goals. Your personal invaluable hints and tips denotes so much a person like me and especially to my office workers. Thanks a lot; from each one of us.

  26. 01/16/2019golden goose says:

    I just wanted to send a brief remark so as to say thanks to you for all of the superb tips and hints you are writing on this site. My incredibly long internet look up has now been rewarded with reasonable facts and techniques to go over with my two friends. I ‘d believe that we website visitors actually are truly endowed to live in a useful website with so many brilliant people with very helpful tactics. I feel rather lucky to have come across your entire web page and look forward to some more enjoyable moments reading here. Thanks a lot once more for a lot of things.

  27. 01/17/2019yeezy boost 350 v2 says:

    I truly wanted to write down a brief note to be able to appreciate you for these lovely facts you are giving here. My incredibly long internet investigation has at the end been honored with professional know-how to talk about with my contacts. I ‘d claim that many of us site visitors actually are rather endowed to be in a notable network with so many outstanding people with very beneficial methods. I feel rather privileged to have encountered your entire website page and look forward to many more fun times reading here. Thanks a lot again for a lot of things.

  28. 01/17/2019nmd says:

    I simply wished to say thanks once more. I’m not certain the things that I could possibly have handled in the absence of the actual solutions shared by you over that area of interest. This has been a very difficult issue in my view, however , encountering the very specialised way you resolved that took me to cry over delight. I am happy for your guidance and expect you know what an amazing job that you’re undertaking educating others by way of your webpage. More than likely you have never got to know all of us.

  29. 01/17/2019adidas gazelle says:

    I truly wanted to type a quick message in order to thank you for all of the remarkable hints you are giving out on this website. My incredibly long internet investigation has now been recognized with reasonable knowledge to exchange with my partners. I ‘d claim that many of us visitors actually are very much endowed to dwell in a fantastic community with so many awesome people with helpful plans. I feel rather happy to have come across your entire site and look forward to plenty of more enjoyable minutes reading here. Thanks again for a lot of things.

  30. 01/18/2019golden goose sneakers says:

    I just wanted to construct a word in order to express gratitude to you for those magnificent points you are giving here. My long internet search has at the end been paid with good facts to share with my relatives. I would assert that we readers actually are really fortunate to dwell in a magnificent website with very many special people with valuable tricks. I feel somewhat lucky to have come across the website page and look forward to many more fabulous times reading here. Thanks a lot once more for everything.

  31. 01/18/2019vapormax says:

    My wife and i felt quite peaceful when Emmanuel could finish up his researching by way of the ideas he made from your site. It is now and again perplexing to simply happen to be releasing tips and tricks that many many people could have been making money from. And we all understand we have you to give thanks to for this. The specific explanations you made, the easy blog menu, the friendships you give support to engender – it is all incredible, and it’s really letting our son in addition to the family do think the theme is exciting, which is exceptionally vital. Many thanks for the whole lot!

Write a comment: