若有所思

by 小葵 on 2011/10/7

一个月后再来看自己,还是有点浮躁,无法找到安静的内心力量。

反复和庸人自扰,自轻和胡思乱想。我的老毛病了。

内倾的情绪过于泛滥,经常没魂儿。

我从哪里获取力量?我很喜欢独处。又很乐于寻找同类。

很难对一些他人热衷的事情感兴趣。

朋友们,不管是网络上的,还是老同学,老友,都是我持续表达的源泉。

 

甚至经常有逃避的,消极的情绪。躲在自己内心舒适的区域,或是睡觉,什么都不管。

好弱好弱的感觉,什么都不懂得。

又,逼着自己去面对,是的,生活就在那儿,你不动,它也会动。

 

有时候我可以对自己说,我什么都不在乎了,但是责任感,安全感驱使我要去做那些我该做的。

嗯,可能是多重人格。

不表达,内心有个封闭的秘密花园。表达,却越显得尴尬。

 

 

理想主义者的爱情是怎样的,对方只是一个幻想,就可以抱住活一辈子。

 

依旧拖延,依旧散漫。

又,有时候强悍得连自己都不认识自己了。

除了新入职的一周内,忙的没时间去想。

关于工作我想表达的很多,但是在此,都显得无力。

 

回到感情方面,其实规律应该是相同的,曾经试图去抓紧的东西,后来,发现失去了,也无妨,即使再回来,也无感觉。

以至于后来,某人又掏心挖肺,说那些所谓的真心话,我都觉得置身事外。我从前的我死了,现在的我在耍你呢。

 

 

没办法去信任,没办法找到同类,没办法。

所以只能去发现些简单的,安静的东西,比如发呆,走神,写字。

 

某虾的一份感情,让我想到成熟和爱情的辩证关系。

如果成熟了,谈什么恋爱,直接结婚好了。

所以我们不成熟,互相伤害,乐此不疲。

 

我从不奢求,

我每天都开心,每天都阳光倾泻,

 

我体谅我的每一个阴天,雨天。

 

TO DO LIST

减少依赖,这个刻不容缓。不管是对手机,电脑,还是男人。

克制,学会沟通。

给亲人多打电话。

克服理想主义,行动,秩序,理性。

少吃饭。

瑜伽。

每天充电。爱自己的工作。

读书,多喝水。

 

 

There are 35 comments in this article:

  1. 10/10/2011wwek says:

    我也该自省下了·

  2. 11/3/2011179c157e20 says:

    179c157e20

  3. 11/3/2011梅达华 says:

    我最近也比较浮躁。。。难以平静唉。

  4. 11/3/2011梅达华 says:

    你博客那个重复评论的BUG还没修复哟。。。

  5. 01/7/2012长绵羊的翅膀 says:

    写字是达到安静的一种很好的方式,我觉得。

  6. 12/12/2018Sannygop says:

    Nice posts! 🙂
    ___
    Sanny

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