第三者,都要死。

by 小葵 on 2011/02/14

所有关心和爱护我们的朋友:

很遗憾地告之诸位。

我们已于2011年1月28日,在西安民政部门办理了离婚手续。

——姚晨 凌潇肃

一个翻身,半夜我醒了。翻来覆去,在黑暗中摸索到手机。刺眼的白光下,手机屏幕告诉我现在凌晨两点。起床在洗手间梳头,梳子遇见一个头发死结,用手指耐心理开,扯得头发生疼。有过一个念头,索性把那撮死结剪断,不忍心为之。最终还是理顺了。

现在想来,头发死结的问题让我悟出一个感情哲理。那天去他空间,久不更新日记的他誊写了一篇歌词《圣诞结》,看完与心情类似的歌词:“爱被我们打了死结。”爱情打结常有,但要顺着结理开,不能生拉活扯,不然反而越理越乱。甚至断裂,分离。

然后上床,把手提抱到了床上,连接上互联网,娱乐版头条:姚晨,凌潇肃发表声明证实已离婚。我心惊了不止一下。09年我登陆新浪微博就一直关注人气王姚晨,以前的她喜欢在微博对老凌津津乐道。我当时很奥拓。不明真相。百度后,原来武林外传里面那个帅哥是她老公,我惊了。

 

凌潇肃。关中匪事里面那个墩子!两人同读一个大学,毕业就结婚。微博的姚晨不时的晒小幸福。给我的感觉是,这两个人简直是模范夫妻,甜蜜到旁人羡煞不已。而姚晨我更是能从微博了解到,她乐观,豁达,善良,持家,内涵…她卸下明星这个身份后,也买米做饭,织脖调侃。反正绝对是个好妻子。好儿媳。好演员。

 

写到这里,我又扼腕了,我又感慨了。姚晨离婚这个刺目的字眼,分明是在大家的爱情信仰上又敲上一锤。不仅她和她的他受伤,可能一部分笃信爱情的善男信女都跟着伤了一把。试问,曾如此让人羡慕的一对都离了,敢问这世上的还有真爱?在娱乐圈,这是我在不能释怀伊能静哈林分离,不能释怀谢娜刘烨分离,不能释怀周迅李大齐分离,之后的又一次不能释怀。

 

不能啊,这事儿不能出现在姚晨身上啊。我又去看了她的微博,只字未提,只是写白茫茫雪,一切回到从前模样能察觉出她的一点落寞。我也记起这几个月貌似很少看到姚在微博上提凌。这个坚强懂事的妞儿啊。看到她们在网络上大把大把的亲密照片,谁人不唏嘘。看到她没有任何征兆,没有任何多余的哀叹,我认为,这是最深的伤害的表现形式,那就是不说话,不表达。我沉默,那是因为很痛。无需赘言。

 

看到她在笔记本纸上写的声明,“过去的岁月里,我们彼此恩爱,携手同行,曾经的婚姻是我们最宝贵的记忆,最值得尊重的情感”“因为即使我们选择了结束,也还是彼此生命中最信任的亲人。而那美好的过往,让我们坚信,无论爱情还是婚姻,依然值得用生命去追求,用一生去守候”

 

根据女人的直觉,这份声明分明暗含着她无比的悲痛,还要故作坚强,撑着场面。可能过去一两年她和凌都在光环里迷失过,也清醒过。但怎么能知道,7年的相守换来的是这个结局。姚晨在多次访谈说到大意为相信老公,也相信自己。但是男人容易犯错,女人无法经受背叛。无比的爱,多年的感情,在遭遇小三那刻,能把女人全部的感情堡垒瞬间摧毁。

 

不停地去看那些娱乐报道,不过都是皮毛,无法真正深入两人真实的感情状况,一大篇版幅怎能写清?报道写到了凌的背叛,因为拍戏和女主角入戏,爱上对方。凌应该也是个好男人,从报道得知,他之前半月说欠姚一个婚礼,还给姚送千多花,能看出他还是爱她,在离婚声明姚晨署名的很远处,他斜着写了自己的名字,一字一顿,能看出他的不愿与复杂心情。

 

感情遭遇小三?可能是这样。但是姚,你要知道,有时候不是男人不爱你,不是男人故意背叛。确实是,有些女人天生的“bitch”特质,会去故意勾引人家男人。这话是我认识一精明女孩的给我说过,当时我还不以为然。后来知道,全天下男人最容易犯的错误,有时候,是某些女人的“手段”而促就。

 

感情难啊,婚姻难啊。充满了未知和挑战。我认为夫妻恩爱到老,更多的是幸运成分。爱情,无所谓相信不相信。边走边爱着吧。无所谓与小三斗,无所谓经营爱情。先强大自己的内心吧,不用过多给对方负担,只是各自经营好自己的外在,内心,行为。先经营好自己,才能彼此互相经营。我认为,这是获得一生平淡而偶尔热烈的爱情最好的途径。

 

只要你好好待他,没有过不好的日子。这句我曾经迷恋的爱情箴言要改写了。好好对ta,这个不是重点。好好待自己,再好好待对方,日子能过就过吧,不能过就各自分一份相同的回忆鸟兽散。这个世界,不是非你不可,不是死去活来,是你自定义式的。

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