梦想略显荒芜

by 小葵 on 2011/02/16

那一年

我的记忆是金黄色的

灿烂无比

因为看到满山的向日葵

刹那间

向我绽放

——sunflower

 偶然翻开自己的日记本,上面写了一些话。“生活中最不幸的是:由于你的身边缺乏积极进取的人。缺少远见卓识的人。使你的人生变得平平庸庸。黯然失色。“发现自己正处于这种状态里。出不来。相信你也是。不用怀疑。如果你身边的人都犯着同一种病。那么你怎么可能发现。原来你也病了。你肯定以为你是正常的。时间已经过了好久了。当初承载我梦想的自留之地。已经略显荒芜。当初它不是青草葱葱的么。怎么会变得如此昏暗而陌生。

某人说没有经历过高考的人生是不完整的。但是经历过后。而才是你人生又是一个新的开始。这是一个筛沙子原理么。你漏下去了?而大多数人都在高考后的人生里。残缺了。不积极进取了。好逸恶劳了。这很不妙。这会完全颠覆你原来的轨迹。不完整堆积着不完整。是么。然后衍生出来的产物叫迷茫。当初以为自己什么都看懂了。其实你好多都没有看懂。昨天深夜把《如果·爱》再看了一遍。我还是没有看懂。只是看到了3年前的自己。那个瘦弱愚昧的自己。一心想着去看看外面和外面的外面。

 

孙纳最后离开了。她是勇敢的。爱自己的。她对林见东说:“最爱你的人永远是你自己,别人不会来爱你。”你能说。你爱过你自己吗。你真的有过梦想吗。你想过了但你做了吗。你没有。你总是说你爱某个人。你好爱啊。爱得快哭了。但是你真的爱吗。你都没有去爱过你自己。去爱过你的爸爸妈妈。你能说你爱别人爱得快死了。你能说出他(她)是谁么。他(她)算你的谁。你真的会爱吗。啊?

 

原本生活就是一个人在不断地去调整自己。不断地去妥协。不断地去平庸的一个过程。甚至你都浑然不觉。这是可怕的。你能说你没有妥协过么?不能。你能说你没有自我欺骗过么?不能。你一直在妥协。退让。自我欺骗。自我背叛。能承认吗。能剖析一下自己吗。当每一天结束了。你能在夜里弱弱的问你自己。你这一天充实么。学习到了什么。当你在网上杂志上偶然看见了别人的奋斗与付出得到。除了一声喟然赞赏。你还能不能再吸取点什么。你可以的。但是你没有。还是浑然不觉。当你看到前人写的那些N条忠告。经验。你似乎受到启发了。但是你还是在原地踏步。当你觉得自己好似对不起很多人。你欠了别人很多东西。但是你连一条中国移动的短信都没有能发过去。你说你是一个懂得感恩的人?当你硬要仔仔细细看一遍《奋斗》或是其他励志的片子。从字眼片语得到点安慰时。你还是那样。那个老样子。

 

每个人心里都有一个外面。你也有。在别人看不到的你的那片自留小地。她唱道:“外面的世界很精彩,闯出去我就能够活过来。”林夕的词很能激发一个个有着正常信念的80后。当然也包括你。而更多的现状是:我们做了一群无聊的人。一个阶段比一个阶段无聊。每天穿梭于自己狭小的空间。或是电脑边消磨自己剩下仅有的可怜的青春。其余时间是吃饭睡觉和幻想。我听过好多人对我说他们的迷茫。我也对他们说我的迷茫。那是因为时间走了。你还在停滞不前。信念和激情走了。迷茫留下来了。

 

没有人无缘无故的心烦。无缘无故的好似很伤感。你说你不是正真的快乐。假的。都是你自己没用。自己不前进。那些情绪都是来自你自己。你是万恶之源。你自己束缚了自己。你太懒了。懒得去思考。更别提改变。有一句话是这样的:要有改革的决心,但前提是。给他(她)一点时间。种一棵树的最佳时间是20年前,其次就是现在。能明白吗。你傻啊。你真的傻。你早就被你自己坑了。你一直在浪费你的时间。你把你的时间当做借口在使。说给你点时间。给你点打击差不多。

 

可能你早已对自己没有了激情。你平庸了。你回不到过去了。也无法到达你原本可以到达的将来了。没有人在乎你的人生的。你自己一个人去迷惑吧。所有的障碍都是有意义的。你忽略了生活带给你的考验。我不得不说。你一层一层地被淘汰了。你可能说是环境改变了你。也许你没有去适应环境。孩子们。独自悲伤去吧。没人晓得。

 

时间能治好一切的忧伤和争执。时间过后。你妥协了。平庸了。我说得没错吧。本来也是。这个世界不会人人都是英雄。总会有人在英雄归来的时候。坐在道路两旁。给英雄们鼓掌。能改变的时候就改改看。好了该结尾了。

 

无论你从什么时候开始,重要的是开始后就不要停止。不要给别人说。无需赘言的。
无论你从什么时候结束,重要的是结束后就不要悔恨。不要怨天怨地。没人在意的。

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